Get Educated

"Consent, by definition, means permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Consent is more than yes or no. It is a dialogue about desires, needs, and level of comfort with different sexual interactions. Healthy sexual interactions are rooted in consent and respect."
—National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Consent (described in our policy as effective consent) means words or actions that show a knowing and voluntary agreement to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity. Consent cannot be gained by force, by ignoring or acting in spite of the objections of another, or by taking advantage of the incapacitation of another [...] The use of alcohol or other drugs will never function to excuse behavior that violates this policy. Consent is also absent when the activity in question exceeds the scope of consent previously given. In addition, certain states have designated a minimum age under which a person cannot give consent.

Knowing how to communicate consent is essential during any type of sexual interaction. Here are ways to obtain and maintain consent:

• Pay attention to your sexual partner's verbal and nonverbal communication.
• Do not interpret silence as an indication of enjoyment.
• Understand that consent to one sexual act does not imply consent to other sexual acts.
• Understand that if someone is intoxicated, they may have a hard time giving consent.
• If someone is incapacitated, it is impossible for them to give consent.
• In the absence of a verbal "YES," you need to be able to articulate how your partner clearly expressed consent.
• Do not make assumptions about whether or not you have obtained consent.

The majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the survivor knows.

It has been estimated that between 80 and 90 percent of rapes are committed by someone who is acquainted with the survivor in some way, such as a friend, coworker, classmate, partner, or ex-partner.¹ Due to the common misconception that rape is committed by lethal strangers, half of all student victims do not label acquaintance rape as "rape."² This contributes to why rape is a highly underreported crime.

Further reading:

• 1 Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women (The National Institute of Justice)

• 2 Sexual Assault on Campus: What Colleges and Universities Are Doing About It (National Institute of Justice)

The majority of sexual assaults are NOT reported.

Sexual assault is considered to be the "most underreported crime in America," according to a report by the National Institute of Justice.¹ Less than 5 percent of completed and attempted rapes on college campuses are brought to campus authorities or law enforcement.^{2 3} The National Crime Victimization Survey estimates that 68 percent of all sexual assaults are not reported.⁴

Further reading:

• ^{1 2} Sexual Assault on Campus: What Colleges and Universities Are Doing About It (National Institute of Justice)
• ³ Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Rape Victimization: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey (National Institute of Justice)
• ⁴ "Reporting Rates" (RAINN(

Students who are sexually assaulted will most likely tell their friends first.

Since survivors are likely to tell their friends first, it is important for college students to consider themselves active bystanders and to train themselves on how to respond to a disclosure of sexual assault. First responders can help victims of sexual assault recognize what has happened to them as a crime and policy violation, and can encourage them to report the assault or to seek help. It is important to remember never to minimize or blame another student for an assault or for a situation that made them uncomfortable. Rather, encourage them to do one of the following: report the incident, get medical care if necessary, and/or seek out campus resources.

Further reading:

• Sexual Assault on Campus: What Colleges and Universities Are Doing About It (National Institute of Justice)

Relationship violence, often referred to as dating violence or intimate partner violence (IPV), is violence committed by a person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the victim.

There are many different types of abuse.

Relationship violence can take many different forms, including physical abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, digital abuse, coercion, and stalking.¹ Various types of abuse usually occur in the same domestic violence relationship and can happen between partners of any gender, sexuality, race, or class.²

Further reading:

• ¹ Types of Abuse–loveisrespect.org
• ² Chapter 4: Violence by Intimate Partners–World Health Organization
• Power and Control Wheel
• Dynamics of Domestic Abuse–Domestic Abuse Project

A large number of female murder victims are murdered by a husband or an intimate partner.

One of the most common forms of violence against women is that done by a husband or intimate male partner, whereas men are much more likely to be attacked by a stranger or acquaintance.¹ A report by the World Health Organization in 2013 found that 38 percent of all women who were murdered were murdered by their intimate partners.² Studies from Australia, Canada, Israel, South Africa, and the United States place this number higher, revealing that 40 to 70 percent of female murder victims are killed by their husband or intimate male partner.¹

Further reading:

• ¹ Chapter 4: Violence by Intimate Partners–World Health Organization
• ² Violence against Women: A ‘Global Health Problem of Epidemic Proportions’–World Health Organization

Addressing the question "Why doesn't a victim leave their abuser?"

There are many reasons why a victim of domestic abuse may not leave their abusive partner. Factors that keep victims from leaving include fear of retaliation, lack of economic means, emotional dependence, lack of support from family and friends, personal safety concerns or concern for their children, and hope that the abuser will change.^{1 2} Leaving an abuser is not a simple process; in fact, intimate partner violence often escalates when a partner tries to leave. A significant proportion of intimate partner homicides occur when a women is trying to leave an abusive male partner.¹

Further reading:

• ¹ Chapter 4: Violence by Intimate Partners–World Health Organization
• ^{1 2} 50 Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a, Why Abuse Victims Stay, Sarah M. Buel
• Why Domestic Violence Victims Don't Leave, Leslie Morgan Steiner

Sexual misconduct is an umbrella term meant to encompass behavior like sexual assault or rape, which is a violation of both our policy and of Maine state law, all the way to things like nonconsensual sexual touching that does not include penetration but does occur without effective consent.

• Nonconsensual sexual contact
• Nonconsensual sexual intercourse
• Sexual exploitation
• Sexual harassment 

Sexual harassment is a unique form of sexual misconduct that is defined, at Bowdoin, as unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature. If sufficiently severe or pervasive so that it substantively interferes with a student's college employment, academic performance, participation in college programs or activities, or living, learning, or working environment, the sexual harassment creates a hostile environment in violation of the Student Sexual Misconduct and Gender-Based Violence Policy.

Behaviors that could constitute sexual harassment:

• Unwelcome physical contact
• Sexually explicit comments in person or via phone, letter, note, gift, text message, email, or other electronic medium
• Unwanted sexual advances requests for sexual favors
• Unwelcome invitations to engage in sexual activity
• Unwelcome commentary about an individual's body or sexual activities
• Threatening to engage in an unwelcome sexual act with another person
• Engaging in indecent exposure
• Stalking

Dating violence is violence that occurs within the confines of a romantic relationship and can be physical, sexual, or emotional. Stalking is a set of behaviors that is directed at an individual person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or the safety of others. A person can be stalked by a stranger, a former partner, or a would-be romantic interest who refuses to take no for an answer.

Examples of stalking behaviors:

• Unwanted, intrusive, or frightening communications by phone, email, mail, or social media
• Repeatedly leaving or sending unwanted items, such as gifts
• Following or waiting for a person at places such as their residence, classes, or job
• Making direct or indirect threats of harm to a person, a person's loved ones, or pets
• Damaging or threatening to damage property
• Posting information or spreading rumors about a person