Before I ever finished my undergraduate work in Mathematics I had already twice won the Nobell Prize for Getting By In Mathematics (1993,1994).* Both of these awards came to me while I was in my Junior year when I was studying Differiential Geometry. While studying DG, I finally realized just how unsuited I am for intense mathematical research. Though I accepted this with dignity, I refused to believe that four years of undergraduate math didn't qualify me to create at least a couple of nifty theorems. I admit the ones I have formulated function more towards the study of the study of mathematics, rather than mathematics per se, but nevertheless I adamantly adhere to their validity and usefulness. I present here my revolutionary theorems.
For the more conservative mathematician, I recommend the Francis 1-2-3 Theorem