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Updated: 12 hours 7 min ago

Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 31, 2014

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 12:10
The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 31, 2014
    





Categories: Newspapers

Editorial Cartoon: Erasing Fault Lines

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 12:00
Erasing Fault Lines
    





Categories: Newspapers

American Voices: Eating Small Meals Throughout Day Doesn’t Help Weight Loss

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 11:00
Contradicting the theory that eating small meals throughout the day is effective for weight loss, a new study has found that eating frequent small portions of food doesn’t actually help people lose weight any more than those who eat three meals per ...
    





Categories: Newspapers

Magazine: Horsey!

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 18:00
Horsey!
    





Categories: Newspapers

Slideshow: 10 Mistakes New Parents Always Make

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 17:30
10 Mistakes New Parents Always Make
    





Categories: Newspapers

Infographic: Batman Turns 75

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 16:00
Sunday marks the 75th anniversary of Batman’s first appearance in DC Comics. Here is a timeline of important events in the evolution of the Caped Crusader from comic book hero to billion-dollar franchise
    





Categories: Newspapers

American Voices: Apple To Diversify Emojis

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 15:00
Responding to criticism that their emojis aren’t diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis.
    





Categories: Newspapers

Mark From Sales Currently Leading Bracket Pool

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 14:00
FINDLAY, OH—Following the first four Sweet 16 games of this year’s NCAA Tournament, sources at local marketing firm Jones-Brannon Media confirmed Friday that Mark from sales is currently leading the office bracket pool.
    





Categories: Newspapers

[video] Fully Gentrified Neighborhood All Cheese Shops

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 13:48
The G7 is unable to get its deposit back on a shipment of ‘G8 Summer Getaway’ T-Shirts, 87% of a man’s memories are shame-based, and a fully gentrified neighborhood is all cheese shops.
    





Categories: Newspapers

Devastated Family Struggling To Cope After Losing Everything On DVR

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 13:00
CHILLICOTHE, MO—Reeling in the wake of sudden, unthinkable tragedy, members of the Talbott family were reportedly left struggling to pick up the pieces Thursday night after an unexpected hard drive crash erased everything they had stored on their di...
    





Categories: Newspapers

4 Senators Mauled During Congressional Tiger Show

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 12:00
WASHINGTON—Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audienc...
    





Categories: Newspapers

American Voices: Study: Women Fake Orgasms To Increase Sexual Arousal

Fri, 03/28/2014 - 11:00
A new study has found that in addition to faking orgasms for the purpose of protecting a partner’s ego and ending sex, many women fake orgasms in order to increase sexual arousal so they can work themselves up to an actual orgasm.
    





Categories: Newspapers

Charles Barkley Openly Gambling On College Games During CBS Halftime Report

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 20:50
NEW YORK—Following the first half of Thursday’s Sweet 16 matchup between the University of Dayton and Stanford University, sources confirmed that college basketball commentator Charles Barkley was observed blatantly gambling on the outcome of ...
    





Categories: Newspapers

American Voices: ‘Gone With The Wind’ Prequel In The Works

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:30
Publishing house Simon & Schuster announced they will release a prequel to Margaret Mitchell’s epic historical novel Gone with the Wind called Ruth’s Journey, which will tell the story of Scarlett O’Hara’s servant Mammy.
    





Categories: Newspapers

Hollywood Maintenance Crews Sent Out To Patch Up Film Industry’s Plotholes

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 17:00
LOS ANGELES—Numerous Hollywood maintenance crews were reportedly dispatched early Thursday morning to fix a rash of plotholes that have developed across the film industry, with laborers called to fill in unresolved third acts and smooth over illogic...
    





Categories: Newspapers

American Obesity Epidemic Traced To Single Heavyset ‘Mayflower’ Passenger

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 16:00
BOSTON—In a startling discovery that sheds new light on the link between the earliest American colonists and their modern descendants, researchers at Boston University announced Thursday they have traced the U.S.
    





Categories: Newspapers

Little Pussy Has To Take Phone Call In Other Room

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:45
PEORIA, IL—Daintily rising from his desk chair as he meekly whispered a pitiful apology into his iPhone, local accounting assistant and pathetic little pussy Andrew Kirby, 32, reportedly needed to take an incoming call in another room Thursday, offi...
    





Categories: Newspapers

Sportsgraphic: Onion Sports’ Sweet 16 Picks

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 15:00
OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this year’s NCAA Tournament Sweet 16: Florida vs. UCLA OSN’s Pick: Florida — As long as the Gators are hitting their shots, they’...
    





Categories: Newspapers

Opinion: These Are The Honda Days That Were Foretold In The Prophecy (by Phillip of Schenectady)

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 14:30
By Phillip of Schenectady
    





Categories: Newspapers

Statshot: Top Safety Schools

Thu, 03/27/2014 - 13:40
Top Safety Schools
    





Categories: Newspapers