Although slave marriages existed in antebellum American, they were not legally recognized. Families were under the control of their master, and could be sold or leased without notice. This resulted in a loss of contact with kin, and the breakdown of stable familial relations. Some have proposed that this splitting resulted in a matriarchal society, where the father has little to no influence in the family structure. Others have said that these divisions resulted in strong networking between friends and distant relatives. That is, slaves would develop lasting relationships with people they encountered in new places, adding on "links" to a metaphorical "net" that kept these families connected. Slave women were used to produce new slaves, which added property to the master's stock. Even then, these children could be sold once of working age. Slave women often times even raised other people's children (both the mistress's and other slaves).
(Richmond, Virginia, October 27, 1840) "Dear Husband:
This is the third letter that I have written you, and have not received any from you. I think very hard of it. The trader has been here three times to look at me. I wish that you would try to see if you can get anyone to buy me, If you don't come down here this Sunday, perhaps you wont seem me any more. Give my love to them all, ant to your mother in particular, and to aunt Betsey, and all the children, tell Jane and Mother they must come down a fortnight before Christmas. I wish to see you all, but I expect I never shall – never no more.
Sargry Brown"
Harriet Jacobs described the desperate terror felt by slave mothers upon "hiring day," which fell on the first of every year:
"One of these sale days, I saw a mother lead seven children to the auction-block. She knew that some of them would be taken from her; but they took all. The children were sole to a slave-trader, and their mother was by a man in her own town. Before night her children were all far away. She begged the trader to tell her where he intended to take them; this he refused to do. How could he, when he knew he would sell them, one by one, wherever he could command the highest price? I met the mother in the street, and her wild, haggard face lives to-day in my mind, She wrung her hands in anguish, and exclaimed, 'Gone! All gone! Why don't God kill me?' I had no words wherewith to comfort her. Instances of this kind are of daily, yea, hourly occurrence" (Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, p. 16).
"In the seventeenth and eighteenth century many first-generation African slave women raised their children without a lot of male assistance, much as they had done in Africa. In all likelihood this helped preserve that part of African culture that put an emphasis on motherhood, and the African mother probably passed it on to her daughters" (Deborah White, Ar'n't I a Woman? : Female Slaves in the Plantation South, p. 69).
Think about it: What is your family structure composed of? Are grandparents and extended relatives readily available to you? If so, do you use them as resources for wisdom and support? If you happened to have a small family, or few relatives are available, try to imagine your most precious possession being stripped from you. It is then shipped to another part of the globe. Would this enrage you? Would it make you feel like less of a person because you were so powerless?
