Sphenisciformes

Matti Aumala

Penguins ply the southern seas of this timeline and ours and are known as Eocene fossils from both worlds. This would suggest that the Sphenisciformes had already appeared by the end of the Cretaceous or that presence/absence of the K-T event had little impact on the evolution of penguins, probably on small islands in the New Zealand archipelago. Penguins have, thus, evolved along more or less the same lines in both worlds. However, in addition to familiar penguins, Spec's Sphenisciformes include a far greater variety of body forms, some of which include the largest of all avians.

(fig. 1) Representatives of p-Spheniscidae.

p-SPHENISCIDAE ("normal" penguins)
The diversity of Neodinosaurian penguins is slightly greater to that of Home-Earth. Several species inhabit estuarine or even freshwater habitats. Unlike our penguins, some species still retain procellariform-like tube nostrils.

A. Padishah penguin

B. Silverband hawfinch penguin

C. Greater swordbill penguin

D. Blueback penguin

E. Brown penguin

MORTIPINGUIIDAE (Penguins of death)

The penguins of death are large, predatory sphenisciforms with powerful, serrated beaks that rampage across the Antarctic and Southern Temperate oceans. They tackle large carcasses in a manner similar to a crocodile's "death-roll", latching on with their beak and rotating their entire body.

Penguins of death are monogamous breeders. The female has a small marspuial like pouch near her hindlimbs where the single egg is incubated. During this time, she has to lie on her side or back to avoid crushing the egg. The hatchling is initially nourished on secretions within the pouch before being fed on regurgitated food brought back by both parents.

The notchbilled penguins of death (genus Mortipinguis) are inshore predators, rarely venturing far out to sea like their cousins Pingusatanas and Microfaustus. The solitary Baby-eater gets its name for its habit of lurking near juvenile crèches of other large penguin species, pouncing on an unsuspecting youngster and brutally tearing it to pieces. They apparently enjoy this activity so much that they will kill a chick, consume it, then promptly regurgitate and discard the body before seeking out another victim.

Baby-eaters can be found around the Patagonian coast and the Falklands.

(fig. 2) Leering baby-eating penguin of death, Mortipinguis paedophagus (Patagonia)

The screaming Ninja Penguin of death is the scourge of the Aotearoan seas. Generally hunting as mated pairs, these screeching demons will tackle prey up to the size of an adult monarch aviserpent. They are resourceful animals and have also been seen scavenging and digging for mollusks. On rare occasions they will ambush and drag large terrestrial birds to their deaths at the shoreline.

(fig. 3) Screaming ninja penguin of death, Mortipinguis shinobi (Aotearoa and the flip out and kill people ALL THE TIME!!!!)

The giant penguin of death (technically known as the giant psycho-killer penguin of DEATH!!!, or Pingusatanas carnifex) is the top predator in the frigid waters around Antarctica. It is the largest and most sounthernmost penguin of death species and the only member of its clade to breed on the Antarctic pack-ice.

Giant penguins of death roam the seas in marauding packs of up to a dozen individuals, taking a variety of prey, including fish, sharks, and smaller penguins. Occasionally, frenzied attacks are made against larger animals such as balaenateuths, although these are usually sick or injured individuals.

(fig. 4) Giant psycho-killer penguin of death, Pingusatanas carnifex (Antarctic coast)

The 3 species of piranhakeet are the smallest and most northern-dwelling of the penguins of death, found in temperate and subtropical waters in the Southern Hemisphere. At under one metre in length, these dumpy-looking birds are capable of awkward bipedal waddling on land but usually flop around on their bellies like their larger, polar cousins. Piranhakeets hunt for food far out to sea but come ashore on remote oceanic islands to breed.

Matti's evil piranhakeet has a distribution centered in the subtropical southwest Pacific with breeding colonies on Norfolk Island and the Kermadecs. For most of the year they prey on small pelagic schooling cephalopods and fish, foraging in small flocks. However, during the winter months, they gather in their thousands near the mating areas of Antarctic balaenateuths such as at the Kermadec Trench.

(fig. 5) Matti's evil piranhakeet, Microfaustus aumalai (Southwest Pacific)

The annual breeding of the great cephalopods provides a banquet for these screeching little blighters. The act of mating (males furiously compete for females which they impregnate by inserting a sperm-package into their bodies via their exhaust nozzles) is extremely strenuous and results in many dead, crippled or just plain exhausted male baleen squids. This is the cue for the marauding piranhakeets which swarm around the stricken giants, gnawing off their flippers before boring into the mantle and eating their giant victims from the inside out. Even a crippled balaenateuth is usually capable of fighting off a large predator but they can do little against such a savage multitude.
During these feeding frenzies, piranhakeets become extremely undiscerning as to the target of the attacks and will go after saurocetes, boats, wounded comrades, even the moon!
The piranhakeets have timed their breeding cycle to coincide with this bonanza and the mothers emerge out of the churning, ink-stained water with full crops of calamari for their hungry chicks.

AVISERPENTIDAE (aviserpents)

The aviserpentids are medium-to-large sphenisciforms closely allied to the megapinguiids with elongated neck vertebrae. Most of this family are nearshore forms.

The largest and most specialized of the aviserpents that feeds on shoaling cephalopods, particularly larval balaenateuths that often swarm around the New Zealand coast. It slowly cruises near the surface, snapping it's long neck from side to side as it seizes prey.

The nest of the monarch aviserpent is unique amoung the animals of Spec. Both parents construct a conical "fort" of small rocks up to 5 m across at the base and 1 m high. At the apex, a single egg is layed in a shallow depression lined with decaying seaweed. The parent's take turns in sitting atop this structure to incubate the egg.

(fig. 6) Monarch aviserpent, Aviserpens monarchus (Aotearoa)

The monarch aviserpent's range is centered around New Zealand, with occasional specimens turning up in Tasmania, Lord Howe and Norfolk Island. It's distinctive serpentine silhouette is a common sight in the Cook Strait.

Aside from it's bright-red facial feathers, the red-faced avisperpent is a fairly typical representative of the family. It is found throughout New Zealand and Southern Australia where it feeds on a variety of schooling fish and cephalopods.

(fig. 7) Red-faced aviserpent, Pelagocorax sibleyi (Patagonia)

MEGAPINGUIIDAE (teals)
The megapinguiidae are large, generalised seal-like forms of the South Polar seas. As penguin body size and flipper musculature became more massive, bipedal waddling became impractical and most of the larger sphenisiforms (Megapinguiidae or "megapenguins") clumsily drag themselves on their bellies using their powerful flippers in the same manner as sea-turtles. This method of locomotion makes them extremely vulnerable on land, thus the megapenguins only breed in the most remote localities including oceanic islands and the Antarctic ice shelf.

The elephant teal is possibly the largest avian that has ever existed. It lives along the rocky coasts of Southern Oceanic islands and the Antarctic mainland. It's sternum is a huge, boat-like structure adapted to support it's great bulk on land. It's bill is gooselike and is used to catch the small shoaling cephalopods which form the bulk of it's diet.

The Elephant Teal mates on the Antarctic Ice. During the breeding season the males develop prominent facial wattles and begin extremely vocal mating displays. The call of the male sounds like that of a booming "Donald Duck tantrum" amplified to deafening levels that can be heard for many miles: "QUAAAA-QUA-QUA-QUA-QUA-QUAAAAAAAAAK!" Fights often break out over display sites, sometimes leading to serious injury or death - easy prey for giant penguins of death.

(fig. 8) Elephant teal, Aviposeidon gargantuis (South Pacific)

The smaller females flock towards the most attractive males. The actual coupling takes only a few seconds and the female then leaves with the male taking no further part in the raising of their offspring. The pregnant females migrate north, coming ashore in the Subantarctic Islands and Tierra del Fuego. The 2 eggs are incubated in a mound of rotting seaweed - this has the added effect of attracting swarms of insects and amphipods which provide the semi-precocial chick with food that is supplemented with squid brought back to the nest by the mother. The mother abandon the chicks at 6 weeks, but by then they are fully independent and form adolescent crèches. They stay in Sub-Antarctic waters until they are over a year old whereupon the survivors are strong enough to make the journey to Antarctica.

Brian Choo

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